Funeral Poem – Last Will And Testament by Will Scratchmann

Read by Marc Lemezma Funeral Celebrant


Funeral Poem – Last Will And Testament by Will Scratchmann

This is a funny and witty funeral poem with a serious message. It forms a contract between the author (the deceased to be) and his family about what he wants, how he wishes to be remembered and what he valued. Enjoy

I suppose, one day, I will be dead and go to meet my maker,
So have this note set in my hand, there for the undertaker,

Don’t dress me in a shroud of white or rouge my cheeks all red,
It is not right, to look a fright, e’en though you’re stone cold dead.

Give me a brand new five pound note and a Visa credit card,
I want to buy a proper plot in old St Peter’s yard,

And as I sit upon my cloud and look down at the earth,
I’ll watch you use my worldly goods for festival and mirth,

And that will make me smile a smile, and have a laugh quite hearty,
To hear you say, the bugger’s dead, let’s have ourselves a party.


Poetry is written to be shared, read and heard. Can I share or use this poetry? The poems I share on my website or social media are original or are regularly used at funerals and are presented to aid those researching poetry for use at their loved one's funeral service.. Wherever known, I do give credit and thanks to the author. If you know the author of any I have marked as ‘unknown’, then let me know, and I will amend the page. If you chose to share or use the poetry at a funeral or memorial service, please give the author credit. Many of these poems are original to me; please feel free to share those or use them if they seem right for your service. All I ask is that you give credit to the author.


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